The Death Of Douchelord Radio

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We started our little Blog Talk Radio show, Douchelord Radio, this past September. It was intended to be like a "black Howard Stern" type of show, with each person playing a "role". My role was that of "douchebag host". Along with "Robin Quivers" & "Baba Booey" types to round out the core cast.

We also had a "program director" (PD) role we created for the show. The purpose of this role was to give the rebellious "douchebag host" an adversary. The PD was to try to get the host "under control" & dictate what he could say on the air. We also had 2 "regulars" who would call in during the show.

This was basically all our first serious go-round at a viable radio show, even with it being on Blog Talk. I had previously been a guest on, or listened to shows on Blog Talk. Most of them just sounded like chat lines with people having jumbled phone conversations. We wanted our show to come off like any morning show you'd hear on commercial radio.

I was passionate about this. So I found, uploaded, and edited all kinds of funny sound bytes. For example, our "PD" had a very thick, twangy Southern accent. Whenever she spoke extensively, I'd play "Dueling Banjos" in the background. She admitted that while she legitimately hated it, she understood it was hilarious and good radio.

For our "Baba Booey", his role was to get stories & interviews but somehow fail or screw up the assignment. Then I would chastise or yell at him. I'd call him a "monkey" and play screaming chimpanzee sounds when he spoke. Again, he knew this and understood it was funny radio. We also agreed to do a "beef" scenario. This worked to the extent people hit us both up to try to help squash it.

I can't speak for the rest of the cast, but I received a lot of positive feedback on our shows. Our number of listeners increased weekly. We came up with ideas like doing the show on location from a nightspot, here in VA. That particular show was a bit of a mess, with the sound issues. But, it still did some of our best numbers. I received very minimal negative feedback, although I knew we were still learning and had a long way to go before the show would be what I envisioned.

I think it's relevant to note that I was in a relationship with our "PD" when the show was started. My mother passed away in October. This was on the heels of my father's passing in July and a cousin passing in August. Honestly, I had been looking for ways to end the relationship. I just wasn't feeling her anymore.

I think she believes it was because I wanted to be back with my estranged wife, whom I've been separated from for 2 years. The reality was, she was close to my mom & felt she owed it to her to look out for me. Especially since I have no other family in this area. My soon-to-be ex-wife would also come around & help look after my mom (who was very sick) when I was at work sometimes. There was never any talk of reconciliation, no "get some for old time's sake" situations. None of that. Simply put, my ex and I are mature enough to be friends now. It took a while. But, that's where we are.

Of course, I couldn't do the show the week my mother passed. But, I encouraged the rest of the cast to go ahead with the show, for consistency's sake. Our "PD" was to fill in as host. In her defense, she had issues downloading a new browser to her computer. As a result, the show started about 30 minutes late. The show did abysmal numbers, the worst of all the existing episodes. I ended the relationship after that episode. No, not because that show sucked. But, because it was time from my standpoint.

At that point, we agreed personal was personal & business was business. We could co-exist for the good of the show. At least, that's what was told to me.

Shortly after this, I get a phone call from the "PD". She tells me how the cast felt I was being unfair to them & how people didn't like a segment on the Joe Paterno/Penn State situation. A cast member told a very heartfelt account of molestation and how it affected the relative who was molested. At that point, the show took a serious tone, for once. Again, the feedback I got was positive, saying how it was good to see us take a stand against child molestation.

As far as the cast members, one of them, who NEVER calls me, only texts, called to thank me for allowing her to be part of a great show. I thanked her for being a great cast member and said the show doesn't go without the cast. I can't very well sit there and talk to myself.

That's pretty much the way I spoke whenever I referred to the show. I always said "we", "us", or "the cast". It was never, ever about me. When I was trying to think of a name for the show, I asked for suggestions. Most said "The Big Tango Show", "Thug Rock Star", or things to that effect. I wasn't doing that. I didn't want it to be about me, like that. I always tweeted the cast from the show's Twitter account, saying they did a great job. I was definitely about the team.

So, after that phone call, I sent an e-mail to the entire cast. Basically, it said that my interest was in the show being the best it could be, and that I would really like anyone that had issues with me or the way I was hosting the show to come to ME, so we could get it rectified. I never came off as overbearing, or a bully. No one responded to the e-mail. Life went on. We did more shows.

Fast forward to this past Thursday...

Twitter blew up last week, because of a photo shoot here, in the 757. This photo shoot was to be an "Industry Insider" shoot. All the movers & shakers in the Virginia entertainment field could be invited to get free photos professionally shot and use them for promotion. It didn't quite go as planned and there were some questionable model selections as well as creative directions, when it came to the shots themselves.

The photographer is a friend of mine, and I know the main subject of the Twitter ridicule. We all agreed for them to come on the show and clear the air about why the shoot went the direction that it did. I asked questions then allowed the cast to do the same. I thought it went well. I received tweets saying that people were entertained, while the interview was in progress. The interviews, questions & comments pretty much took up the 1st of our 2 hours on the air.

2 days later, I get this e-mail from our "PD"...

"I have some constructive criticism and feed back. Please take this for what it is. Several of the cast members called me after Thursdays show with complaints about you. I explained to them it puts me in an awkward place when these concerns are voiced to me and not you. I was going to do a conference call but I'm gonna be in Memphis and Nashville this coming week for my job and also I didn't want u to feel you were being ganged up on.
In my opinion I think the shows intro needs to be redone. It should not say "live from the 757" cause 3 of ur cast members aren't there. Also the picture on the blogtalk page needs to come down and everybodys name needs to be listed. That I can go in and fix.
That interview Thursday should had been radio gold. There was no fuckery I felt like until I got on the line. If ur goal is to be the next Howard Stern that's not how he woulda handled that interview. I thought the interview sucked and it was entirely too long. That is the feedback I received from the people I had listening. Several people told me they got bored and cut us off. Not everyone had seen the photo and didn't even know what was going on. {Listener) tweeted me during the show and said "is he seriously tryna make sense of this?"
(Regular} was bored during the interview. She text me several times during saying if she was gonna be on hold she was gonna hang up. She also said she didn't sign up for this and Douchelord Radio used to be fun. She said she will go back to callin in at 10pm or not at all. She also said she doesn't like how u cut off certain topics but my solution to that is we have our own show coming and it can be done there.
{Regular} also called me. He said there are 2 reasons his participation is limited. One when he calls in he's working. He doesn't mind making the time but it takes 30 mins or so for him to get on the line. Basically he's taking a break from work to sit on hold every week. Also {regular} said our show is not living up to its name. There is nothing Douchy about it and the show is getting to serious. He also said he had Dawn Richards from Danity Kane ready to hang out with us and u passed for the interview over that photoshoot that in the opinion of the cast did not come off so good.
{Cast member} called me at 1am after the show and his complaint was you never let him speak and also you are going to far with the beef with {Cast member} and Tango because u bring it into real life when its supposed to be only on the air and twitter. I'm not gonna get into whatever personal between u and him with u supposed to meet him somewhere Thursday night and not showing up.
Now this next thing I'm about to say comes from a place of love and concern. You are being called "David Ruffin" behind your back by everybody. I seriously heard it from all 3 people. It was funny but its not. Its not cool that everyone is saying that you have let this go to your head. I know you and you are not this person that you are giving us and you probably don't mean to come across this way. We all care about you as a person, but from what I'm gathering you are being found difficult to work with.
I hope you take everything that was said for the criticism it is and maybe we can sit down and figure out a way to make the show better. We know the show can be good. The first 2 shows were amazing but the cast with the exception of Sdot(and that's cause she didn't call me) feels the show is currently suffering and not growing. Like I said earlier this puts me in a weird place cause I feel like these concerns shoulda been voiced to you and not me, but everyone is more comfortable talking to me for some reason.
I think u should listen to an episode of Russ Parr, Tom Joyner, Michael Baisden, The Breakfast Club and also Howard Stern. Pay attention to how those shows are run. That's what I did. I picked a character off of Russ Parr to mimic.
Going forward let's try to make DoucheLordRadio the best we can.

-{Program Director}"

Now, the only changes I made to that e-mail was taking people's names out. I did that because once I announced that I was blogging about the reasons I quit the show, a couple of them got in their feelings.

I can't lie. I was hurt when I 1st read this e-mail. My eyes literally watered. I immediately replied to it with, "Easy solution. I quit." The reply I got from our "PD" was "And that is fine." That's the last communication I had with her.

The next thing was to reach out to the cast and find out why they felt like she was saying, but not talk to me about it. Especially after I had sent an e-mail asking them to do so. I BBM'd one cast member. He said he wasn't unhappy with me. Just how the show wasn't "douchey" enough, at times. The example he gave was the aforementioned Joe Paterno segment, citing that "it could've been so much fun to joke about". I said on the show that we don't condone child molestation or even joking about it. Everyone seemed to be in agreement, at that time. This cast member also said, "Dawn (Richard from Diddy Dirty Money) and Ophilia (a model who was on one the "Real Chance Of Love" seasons) DM'd me asking me when, but u told me not this week, so I scratched it." *blank ass stare*

I replied, "Had you told me DAWN RICHARD, from damn Dirty Money wanted to be on our show, I woulda been like 'fuck that photo shoot'" There was some more back & forth. I can provide the BBM, if necessary. Basically, he was saying he'd been complaining to our "PD". But, it wasn't that big of a deal, and he didn't think I should quit the show. I told him I was disappointed that he would go complain to the "PD" instead of talking to me, ESPECIALLY after I sent the e-mail asking for them to do so.

I know. That part is getting repetitive. But, you'll soon see why...

He says, "I dnt even be reading all emails.. I get so many in a day I just click to open all of them."

Alrighty then...

Next night, I announce that I have some shit to vent about on Twitter. I immediately get an e-mail from another cast member saying, "I saw a few tweets and hope there won't be a blast session on Twitter or FB from any of the cast members."

I replied, telling her I was disappointed for the same reason. Went to the "PD" instead of me. Her response: "I personally thought feedback should've gone through T because you know her better than u know me. But er uh...yeah that may have been a really bad idea...lol. My bad! Just try and be cool and don't go on any rants. Please?"

*staring wide-eyed at the camera*

This cast member also stated that she didn't know about any email that was sent out until recently and didn't know what was said in it.

You see why I keep repeating that I was disappointed that these people went to the "PD" instead of me? There's a pattern here...

This cast member also felt it was wrong of me to address this issue on social networks & blog about it. Why wouldn't I do that? I don't have shit to hide. Plus, I feel like I owe it to the people that support me or the show for them to know why things are the way they are.

I called another cast member to find out how they felt. He admitted he thought it wasn't fair that he didn't get to participate in the "Photo Shoot" interviews. I explained to him that since he was using a different phone, I didn't recognize his number on the switchboard and forgot about him. I'll own that. He understood. He also said he didn't fully read the e-mail I sent out, because once he realized that it didn't apply to him, he pretty much disregarded it. I know this person and hang out with him on the regular. I believe he would've come to me, instead of calling our "PD" who lives in Louisville, KY.

The pattern here is, everybody either half-ass read the e-mail I sent, or didn't read it at all. All this shit could've been avoided. My hurt turned to anger when I found all this out. Why THEE FUCK would you not read an e-mail from the host of a show that YOU'RE A DAMN CAST MEMBER OF???

Instead, people went running to someone who had NO power to begin with, like she could spank me, or some shit. I also believe a lot of shit in the "PD's" e-mail was exaggerated, or plain made the fuck up.

Another common thread was the "I didn't know all that" replies. So, again... WHY in the BLUE MONKEY FUCK would you not ask before you go complaining?

Nobody admitted to calling me "David Ruffin", although the above e-mail says all 3 complaining cast members called me that. Somebody is straight-up lying. I don't have the time, nor inclination to know who. I'll let them figure that out.

I apologize for the length of this blog entry. But, all the info is relevant. I didn't do it to cause trouble, or "expose" people. I did it because the supporters of the show deserve to know what happened.

The "PD" issued an e-mail saying the show will continue. They will change the title & retain the cast. She also wants to do a tribute to the former host and hopes I will call in & participate. Nah. I'm good on that.

I will be back on BlogTalk Radio soon, with a new show. Hopefully, those who supported Douchelord Radio will enjoy this one even more. It'll be better because I learned a lot from doing this show & the bullshit that caused me to leave what I loved to do.

I am going to mention one name. HUGE shoutout to my "sis", Sue. As soon as my tweet hit about leaving the show, she immediately called me to offer support. No one else from the cast did that. The convo ended with "Where are WE going? What are we doing?" That meant EVERYTHING. I love her even more for that.

Tweet me with any questions. I'm sure there will be some. Aside from giving names, I will pretty much answer all. Thanks for bearing with me. I know this took a good chunk of your time.

You be the judge...

Farewell, Dad...

I know I haven't posted in a good while. I apologize to those who continue to ride with me. But, as you might know, I don't write for the sake of having something up on the page. I gotta have something of substance to say.

This is one of those times.

My father, Jesse, had been battling cancer since 1993. He fought like a warrior. It never did beat him. But, the congestive heart failure did. My dad passed away in his sleep, at 1:10 this morning. I was there with my older brother when Dad took his last breath and went home with God.

My dad had mentioned recently that he was tired of fighting. So, I knew the end would be sooner, rather than later. He was 78.

Am I gonna miss him? Absolutely. But, I can take solace in the fact that even though he was almost 35 when I was born, I had him around, well into my adult life. He lived to see a Black president take office, humans land & walk on the moon, my brother get married & have kids, & myself get married as well, among other cool things.

He was a veteran, that had been around the world. Dad was accomplished in basketball, football, and played a mean trumpet before an accident put an end to that. He was probably one of the biggest "gadget" guys I know.

The sense of humor and smack-talk you've seen from me, I definitely got it honest. I inherited the athleticism and musicality, as well. So, it's pretty safe to say he lives on in me.

Thanks to everyone for your love & condolences. It's like I tell others who experience a loss of a loved one... He's in a better place. We have to still be here and deal with bills & the BS the world has to offer.

I don't know if you care about this. But, getting it out is therapeutic for me. A part of the healing process. I know it's not over yet. But, we'll be OK over here. Cherish your loved ones while you have them. Even when they get on your nerves.

Thanks again, y'all.

Pop... I'll see you when I get there.

For The Last Time...

I took a hiatus, after the October Blog Challenge. That was really tough. I don't like to blog unless I feel have some great content. You know, "quality over quantity". But, we got through it. Together.

I'm inspired/frustrated today though. So, I have something to write about.

It's well-documented, and I know you get sick of seeing it here, that I host events at a nightspot here, in the Hampton Roads area. I'm good at it. This is because I've been doing it from the age of 14, when my older brother had a dead basement party and put a mic (and a beer) in my hand.

It seems like lately, EVERYBODY thinks they can host. This is some frosty, frozen bullshit. It is a craft/art, just like DJ'ing or singing or rapping. It is not just talking, saying any old thing on a microphone.

It's not singing along with songs all night and throwing in an occasional "AYE". There are ingredients needed to be a successful event host. I'm gonna share, so at least if you're gonna try it, you'll be on the right path. Will it guarantee you success? No. But, it will lessen your probability of failure. So, here we go...

1. TIMING: You just can't run off at the mouth at any given point in a song your DJ is playing. The music must do what it is supposed to do. If you're yapping during the hook of peoples' favorite songs, you are likely ruining the experience for them. You're really just being selfish.

2. MUSICAL KNOWLEDGE: A host needs to know music almost as much as a DJ. This goes hand-in-hand with TIMING. If you know the songs, you will be able to make them pop even more. Your primary duty, as a host, is to enhance the experience for the listener.

3. VOCABULARY: The more expanded your vocabulary is, the more words you can choose from to say some cool shit. Get your face in a dictionary and up your game.

4. CONTENT/HUMOR: You have to know what you're going to say and when you're going to say it. If the next song has got a lengthy intro, maybe you can do promo for drink specials or upcoming events at the venue. A GOOD host will have obtained this info from the venue's management, upon arriving at the venue. If it's a shorter intro, then you may be able to slide in a quick joke, or playfully joke with customers. Again, TIMING.

5. CHARISMA/PERSONALITY: This is huge. But, out of our control. Either you have it, or you don't. You have to be born with it. It can't be taught or learned. It's that X factor, and it could make or break you.

6. VOICE TONE/INFLECTION: These add emphasis to what you're trying to convey to your crowd. Basically, you're attempting to command the crowd to have more fun and buy more drinks. It works better, if THEY believe you're having fun with them, instead of trying to come off as the star of the show. You're not. The order goes like this: venue, event, DJ, then MAYBE host. You are working for all of the above. Also, speaking in a monotone, the entire night, won't work. You need to change up your cadence. Half of you don't even know what that is...

These are the main ingredients of a successful event host. Versatility helps a lot, as well. If you can host anything, then naturally, your range of gigs you can get increases exponentially. Don't limit yourself.

Do you need a college education to do this? Absolutely not. But, to be a GOOD host, you have to do more than just yap randomly. Hope this helps someone...

Another Crazy Dream...

I had another crazy dream, last night. And, no… “Unc” (see "Crazy Dreams") didn’t come for his revenge. Not yet, anyway. I can’t even blame alcohol for this one. I have no damn idea what it meant, or what significance it held. But, screw it. I’ll share anyway…

Of what I can remember, one of my Twitter friends, @MissJia, said she had to go to North Carolina. She asked if I would like to come with. But, somehow I ended up driving. Some other weird shit happened, involving some of my family members. Neither here nor there.

Before you ask, or think so, I don't have an obsession with Jia. I'm not crushing or anything like that. Not that there'd be anything wrong with that. She's sexy as hell, with some gorgeous eyes and a huge personality. If you're not following her on Twitter, you should be.

We get into North Carolina, and I need to stop for gas. The only pump was inside the place, which kind of resembled a saloon. The problem was, it was one of those old school gas pumps, where the numbers rolled when gas was pumped. The little bell even rang with each gallon I pumped.

Of course, there was no place for a credit card. I only had plastic, no cash. So, Jia ended up writing a check for the amount of the fuel, with a highly embarrassed promise from me, of reimbursement. We continued on, and soon, we were at our destination.

The place looked a bit like an old cabin, but with modern touches. Being that it was late, we’d have to sleep there before making the return trip, in the morning. Jia offered me some wack-looking military-type clothes, since I hadn’t the foresight to bring a change. For reasons unknown to me, she put this huge, floppy, almost-camouflage hat on me. It was so big, it covered my entire head & face. She got a little “kee-kee-kee” out of that.

Jia then showed me to my room. There were two beds. She asked me which one I would like. Me, being the smack-talking smartass, I said, “Whichever one you want me in”. Of course, she gave me a stern “negro please” look. I chose a bed and climbed into it. Now, here’s probably the dumbest part of this dream.

The boxspring was normal size. But, the GOTDAMN MATTRESS only covered ¾ of the boxspring!!! Of course, Jia found this hilarious. The fun soon came to an end. I guess she remembered having to pay for the gas, because her expression turned to stone. She said to me, “I think I’m gonna need you to get your shit and leave”.

I drove, incredulous, back to wherever it was we came from. I was greeted by some people who were apparently relatives. But, I could not recall any of their faces. Couple of them looked like Tito Jackson’s kids.

It was then, that I woke up. I think I said “what the fuck” out loud. It will do you absolutely no good to ask me any rhyme or reason behind any part of this dream. Hell, I didn’t even attempt to try. Just understand that there is NO way I can make this shit up.

Any dream analyzers out there???

Always At The Damn End...

I was mistaken in thinking yesterday was the last day of the October Blog Challenge. I thought the challenge itself was 30 blogs in 30 days. Oh, well. I was gonna do this post anyway. So...

Day 31...

You ever have one of those days where everything pretty much goes right, all the way up until the end? Yeah, that happened today.

Only, it didn't happen to me. My day went fairly smooth. It happened to an older gentleman, that works with us. We call him "Mr. G". Mr. G was going about business as usual, on his power equipment. He went 12 and one-half hours without an issue. On one of his very last tasks of the day, he had an accident that resulted in some product damage.

Under normal conditions, a manager would write an accident report, and Asset Protection would take pictures of the damage. They would go through the formality of an investigation, rule it "preventable". Mr G would have gotten a slap on the wrist, and we keep it moving.

However, because this is our "Super Bowl" period, he had to go take a urinalysis. How badly would it suck, if you were ready to go home, but had to go through that type of bullshit?

I felt bad for him, as I closed out and got in my car to go home...

Finish Line!

Day 30...

Looks like we made it through the October Blog Challenge. My 30th consecutive blog will not be some spectacular speech. I’ll share a funny story. Then, let y’all in a little more & tell you some more about me. Useless information. But, it is what it is…

Yesterday, I had a late lunch with one of the Djs I host for, also a friend our ours. I’ll call the DJ “P”, and our boy “Flaco”. We finish lunch and take a walk around the Peninsula Town Center, an amazing shopping area that is configured like a small city. We stop at one clothing store. P and I go in. Flaco hangs back, outside the door. He was on the phone, or something. It doesn’t matter. Anyway…

Try to adjust the vision in your head to where you’re looking out, toward the street from inside the store. I happened to look up, and Flaco paces in front, then slowly walks to the right. I’m figuring he saw someone he knew, or went to look in another store. About 30 seconds later, I look up again to see Flaco walking very briskly, in the opposite direction, past the store we’re in.

I ask P rhetorically, “What the fuck is this fool doing???” Right at that moment, we see security for the Town Center walking past the store…also at a brisk pace. It looked like something out of a movie. Add to that, the fact that Flaco had the hood on his hoodie up… Well, I don’t really give two field mouse fucks if you think it’s funny. That image almost literally had me in tears, from laughing.

It got even funnier, as P and I went outside to see if the security guard was indeed in pursuit of Flaco. Flac turns the corner and the guard breaks off, continuing along the street. As soon as the guard passes the corner, here comes Flac, doubling back to our location.

Me: What the hell did you do???

Flaco: I thought that motherfucker was gonna bust me for littering.

P, Me: BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Flaco: Fuck you both…

You didn’t think that was funny??? DAH, well… Guess ya hadda be there.


Now for a little Q&A with …ME! Just in case you want to know what makes the Thug Rocker tick.

Q: Where are you from?
A: I was born in Sacramento, California, to Marie & my then-Air Force father, Jesse. We moved from Cali before I turned 2. Started school in Plattsburgh, NY, which is about 20 miles from the Canadian border. Moved from there to Pemberton, NJ when I was 6. NJ is where I spent my formative years, which might explain my sense of humor & profane diatribes.

Q: How did you end up in the Hampton Roads (757) area?
A: I had an uncle that lived in Eastville, VA, located on the Delmarva peninsula. He would bring us across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel, to Norfolk, VA Beach, & Hampton, since there wasn’t shit to do on the Delmarva side of the bay. Visits with other relatives in Richmond also influenced my move. I just fell in love with the area and the people. I was also tired of Jersey, at that time.

Q: What are your talents?
A: You guys will say “writing”, and I love you for that. I also play drums, sing a little, host events at Blurr Bistro in Newport News and other spots. I play a mean game of “Band Hero” on drums and guitar. I tweet like a demon. I can dance, act, and my most useless talent is popping my earlobe very loudly, with my index and middle fingers. I can also tie a cherry stem into a knot, using only my tongue…smh.

Q: Do you play any sports?
A: I’m OK at basketball, good at football (played WR, KR, DB, and QB), and was a 200 meter champion in high school. I’ve played softball and baseball… Shit, you get the picture. I’ll pretty much try any sport.

Q: What do you hope to accomplish with this blog?
A: Not a damn thing. It’s designed for me to get things off my chest when 140 characters on Twitter isn’t enough. But, if my rants and general fuckery makes someone think twice about some dumb shit they may be doing, or if it in some way helps somebody, then that’s very cool.

Q: Stats?
A: Not much to tell. 6-foot-5, 235 pounds. 5 tattoos, including my beloved Philadelphia Eagles’ logo. I shave my head and my pubes. Well, I trim the pubes… I work hard and play even harder. I’m a Leo, which means I am loyal as hell to those close to me. I possess the classic Leo quality of natural leadership, which admittedly, can sometimes make me have to be an asshole. Overall, I’m a laid-back type of dude.

I hope I’ve given you enough for now. But, if you want to know anything else, leave your questions in the comments section. I’d be more than happy to answer them. As yall know, I’m a fairly open book.

As always, thank you for taking time out of your life to read my writings…

Acquainticity

Day 29...

I really don’t hang out with too many people like that. You gotta be cool & laid-back as hell for me to really open up to you. But, sometimes, you run across people who give you that. Tonight was one of those nights.

It started out as a simple “GoodFellas” type of lunch with a couple of friends. I ended up meeting so many good people, that “lunch” ended at around 11 PM. The importance of good people who don’t have ulterior motives, or have their asses on their shoulders means a lot. I was kicking the “Willie Bobo” with magazine models and the whole nine. I could care less that the chicks were models. But, that fact that they didn’t ACT like models was impressive.

I get recognized as “@ThugRockStar” and from hosting parties on a regular basis. It’s cool. But, I can take that, or leave it. I go at those people as “Tim”. That’s who I want them to know. I would hope that people who have attained popularity/celebrity would do the same for me. That’s what I got from the people I met tonight. So, I support whatever field they are working in. If it’s a DJ or host, I’m gonna tell y’all what they have coming up. If it’s a model, I’ll tell you what magazine they are appearing in.

Bottom line is, I’m a Leo. One of the main qualities we are known for, is loyalty. I like to think I am the quintessential Leo. I show major love to the people I am loyal to. I may not agree with everything you do. But, I am in your corner, when the chips are down. I ride or die for mine.

We all need people like that in our lives. The fakeness gets old, quickly. I still ride mostly solo, dealing with “associates”. But, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I am ready to have friends in my life that I hang out with, and feel like they have my back. If that’s indeed the case, I’ll damn sure have theirs…

Copouts For Coonery

Day 28...

This internet thing is a truly wondrous technological marvel. But, everything has its glitches. People seem to think they can do whatever they want, without repercussion. Most of the time, they can. We see some of everything, from disrespect of women and gays, to outright minstrel show coonery.

If someone stands up and says, “Wait a minute. This isn’t right”, the usual response is “It’s only (insert social network site here). Have a sense of humor”. Those who know me, know I love & champion humor and fuckery, as much as anyone. But, some shit just isn’t funny. Not coincidentally, it’s usually the perpetrators of said coonery that scream “It’s just jokes”.

So, is that the cop-out for anything retarded that we do? Can Caucasians say that, and not catch a beat-down for saying “nigger”? Because, guess what? Shit like that is the reason they ask that dumb-ass question. “You guys say it to each other. Why can’t I say it?”

That’s the problem. People don’t see the wide scope of what they do, these days. Instant gratification is breeding a lot of irresponsibility. This is also why you see more & more people getting in fucked-up situations. They’re not thinking shit through..

So, the next time you come across some covert or overt racism, think back to the coonish shit you do. “They” won’t respect you, if you don’t respect yourselves. Don’t think “they” don’t see it, either.

There’s a scene in the movie “Higher Learning”, where the leader of the Skinhead faction says, and I paraphrase, “See the gangs, Remy. Those monkeys are training every day, out in the streets, shooting each other”. That’s how “they” think.


Real fucking funny, huh?

Death To The Pretentious Moon Crickets

Day 27...

I am a very heterosexual male, who just happens to watch “Real Housewives Of Atlanta”. At first, I think I was interested to see attractive black women doing well, and not portrayed as “ho’s, chicken heads, or ghetto”. It did start off that way for me.

But now, my perception has turned into seeing “nose in the air” and a stank “I’m better than you” vibe. I cannot express here how much I absolutely detest that. It frustrates me to no end, how much our people strive to separate ourselves from each other, in an elitist sense.

This started in slavery, where the “massa” would separate his dark and light-skinned negroes, by having the light-skinned slaves work the easier jobs, in the “big house”, while the darker slaves were out in the blazing-hot sun all day, working the fields and tending to the animals.

This was the genesis of the “divide and conquer” strategy the “massa” employed to keep the slaves under control. He knew he was grossly outnumbered. A revolt, as Nat Turner would later show, could be devastating to his livelihood, and a danger to his life. As long as the slaves were pitted against each other, they couldn’t unite against him.

Turner figured it out, and led a bloody, violent, and deadly revolt. Unfortunately, the rest of us have forgotten. Only now, we’re not so much divided by melanin, as we are money and social status. We can’t even give each other compliments properly. Here’s an example…

Negroid 1: That’s a nice outfit!

Negroid 2: Thanks!

Negroid 1: How much did it cost?

Negroid 2: *blank stare*

It shouldn’t be that way, people. It shouldn’t matter if you got your outfit from Walmart or you got it from Macy’s. If it looks nice, it looks nice. If you ask me how much something I have costs, I’m gonna tell you where I got it, and that I expect you to buy me more.

Do I expect people to pull each other up, by the bootstraps? Hell no. It’s your responsibility to attain the things you want, whether that be a box of mac & cheese or whether it be the newest model of Mercedes-Benz. But, what I would like to see is our people treat each other better.

Fat chance, I know. All I can do is practice what I am preaching…

You Need More Stripes, Soldier

Day 26...I'll refrain from that cheesy joke.

I was going to write about something else. But, some Twitter beef made me change my mind.

This was beef between local people, from the 757 area of Hampton Roads, VA. If you're not familiar,the area consists of 7 cities, in Southeast Virginia. They are Hampton, Newport News, Williamsburg, Norfolk, Virginia Beach, Chesapeake, and Suffolk.

The two people involved in the beef were taking shots at each other about who and what they do, in local entertainment. I struggle to understand where anyone can take those type of shots. Nobody's on a large enough scale around here. Getting your name shouted out by a host does not make one a celebrity.

I suppose if you were born and raised in this area, it can be easy to deem yourself a local celeb, if you run with certain people that have ties to the celebrities and athletes the come from the area. However, I'm not from this area. I see things for what they are because I've been exposed to a lot more.

I talk to the celebs and athletes I know, just like I would talk to any one of you. Their status never moved me. I support them, of course. But, you will never catch me name-dropping them, or making extra efforts to make sure I'm seen with them. People know me because of ME.

It's a great feeling to have people say good things about you because of things YOU do, not who you hang around. Conversely, it has to suck when someone gets up in the morning, goes to brush their teeth, looks in the mirror, and realizes that person they see is basically living vicariously through someone else. I hope those coattails have good shock absorbers. It could be a bumpy ride.

The bottom line is, if YOU don't do press, go outside of the area to perform, or any of the things true celebrities have to do, you've done NOTHING. Get some stamps on your passport, for fuck's sake.

Selektah...COME DOWN!

Day 25...

I have recently acquired a new addiction. Creating "mashups". If you don't know, mashups consist of a vocal portion of one song, combined with an instrumental portion of another. For example, I took the beat from Drake & Bun B's "Uptown", and laid Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" vocals over it. I was experimenting, but it actually ended up sounding kind of hot.

Little known "ThugRocker Fact": I was a music producer, a few years ago. I was told by a few music industry "insiders" said I had "the ear". Whatever that is. I always loved music. I remember getting a record player for my 5th birthday and stealing my mother's 45 RPM records to play on it.

I was a drummer, in my high school's marching & concert bands. That being said, music was always a big part of my life. I love it all & I respect it all. I played some of the 11 mashups for the DJs I host parties for. They want to play some of them and are lightly trying to coax me back into the studio.

I have to admit...doing these mashups on my laptop is reawakening the producer that lie dormant in my soul for so long...

Decision Deferred...SMDH

Day 24...

If you read last’s Sunday’s post, “Mind-Blowing Decisions”, you may remember my co-worker’s quandary of whether to stay with his current woman, or dabble with another. If you don’t remember, Q has a great woman he’s been with for a while. She loves the hell out of him to the point that she would allow him to quit his job and be a “kept man” for a while, if he so chose. She even wanted to buy him a motorcycle. Oh yeah…she makes SERIOUS cheese.

This fool, Q, asked my advice on if he should stay with her, or pursue a new chick that he knows very little about. At one point, he even told me he was going to “be good from now on”. He’s cheated on her, in the past. He ended up (correctly) telling me that it probably wouldn’t be smart to leave what he has for the unknown.

Fast forward to yesterday. You’ve probably seen the blog I wrote, on how cats at my job want to try and fuck any half-decent looking temp or new associate that walks in the door. Yeah… That happened. All damn day, this dude is chatting up one of the new temps. She was OK looking. But, damn sure not “leave your woman” good.

First thing in the morning, Q has the “eye of the tiger” when this chick walks by. After he breaks his “radar lock” on that ass, Q looks up at me. I just shake my head and chuckle. He busts out laughing, in a sheepish type of way. I say, Dawg… “ Didn’t you just tell me, not even a whole week ago…?” He didn’t let me finish the question because he knew. His reply:

“Man… I can’t help it, bruh. It’s in my blood.”

My eyebrow raised, of it’s own volition. I simply placed a single index finger to my lips, in the “shhh” motion.

“Don’t ask me anything else, motherfucker”.