I'll start this one with a shoutout to the homie, @Afrodeezha. She caught the "Grammar Nazi" slippin' yesterday. Hey, playas fuck up too.
I don't really have shit to talk about today. So, I'll go to the mental archives for a story...
Before I was to leave to go into the military, my cousin, Shaun & our friends treated me to a concert, in Philadelphia. This concert featured the members of New Edition (separately & together) as well as Al B. Sure. I figured, "Hey, why not? There should be a bunch of hot women there".
They pick me up, and my cousin needs to stop and scoop his then-boo. We stop at a liquor store, next to a 7-Eleven first. We purchase beer, and of course, liquor, as well as hot dogs from the 7-Eleven. We scarf our food, and sip our drinks, on the way to my cuzzo's boo's house.
My boy, Rich, honks the horn, and my Shaun's girl, Tonya, comes out of the house, looking radiant. Dressed to the nines, and makeup perfect. Just one problem. She didn't normally ever wear makeup. She really didn't have to. She was a naturally pretty girl. So, Shaun had an issue with this.
Tonya was from Mount Vernon, NY. She told Shaun she had partied with Heavy D & Al B. Sure before. This information, in the back of his mind, coupled with the Southern Comfort he drank, had this dude trippin!
He's like, "What you got on makeup for??? Al B. Sure ain't gonna see you, with the shitty seats we got." This argument goes on from Willingboro, NJ, all the way to the Philadelphia Spectrum, where the concert is being held. Rich is having trouble driving because we're laughing so hard.
We make it to the Spectrum safely, and find our seats. By this time, Tonya is so heated, she won't even sit in her seat. So, it's Rich, Shaun, an empty seat, then me. Tonya is sitting on the stairs, in the aisle. After refusing to take her seat, we finally tell her that security won't let her stay in the aisle. She finally relents.
I had purchased a program for the show, and was sharing it with a lovely sista who was sitting on the other side of me from Tonya. I'm chatting this chick up, and feeling like I'm telling the right lies. I get slightly bumped by Tonya. I look over, and Shaun, in his now full-blown drunken stupor, keeps trying to lay his head on Tonya's shoulder.
As I'm still trying to entertain my new friend, Tonya's pushing Shaun off her. He sits straight up, looks at all of us, looks straight ahead, and proceeds to puke!!!
I'm not talking the regular "fall out of your mouth" puke. This negro was spewing like a jet hose. Hot dog chunks flying everywhere #NShit.
My shocked new acquaintance and her wing-woman get up and damn-near run away. Gee...thanks, Cuz. Fucker.
I see the greycoats (Spectrum security) come walking up the stairs. So, we try to get Shaun to straighten up. Our efforts were futile, and he was asked to leave the arena. Guess who got elected to escort him out? Fuuuuuck.
So, now I'm a little pissed off. This dude has ruined my action AND now I gotta miss part of the show, because I gotta drag his drunk ass to a car that's parked in "WhatTheFuck, Egypt".
While this buttery motherfucker is drunkenly mumbling, "Take care of my girl. I love my girl. I love all of y'all...", I throw him in the back seat. After I angrily slammed the door, I chuckled a little at how he looked like a sack of potatoes when I tossed him in the car.
The rest of us enjoy the show, and make our way back to New Jersey. This fool I call a cousin, wakes up and starts another argument with Tonya. We're like WTF, son??? She storms into her house, when we drop her off. We go to pull off, and Shaun stops us. This coon goes around to her bedroom window, and comes back about 10 minutes later, talking about, "Yall can go 'head. I'm good."
I can't believe this dude pissed his girl off, puked all over the home of the 76ers, Flyers, & Rocky Balboa, and is STILL gonna get some cooch...
Go fuckin' figure.