Monday, March 25, 2013

New Nigga Syndrome

These days, there are incidents of coonery, fuckery, & just plain dumb shit being reported on our social networks. Some of us even get first-person accounts from acquaintances. The perpetrators of these egregious and sometimes heinous acts have been dubbed "new niggas".

This moniker does not just apply to young, black males. It can be women, Caucasians, anyone of the roughly 18-35 demographic. I'll preface by saying I'm not in that demographic. I have the benefit of experience in the way common sense should be deployed. I'll give you some examples of "new nigga shit."

1. Probably the worst. What's the science behind wearing tight ass skinny jeans, only to "sag" them down to where the back of your legs meet your ass? You're a walking contradiction. Plus, nobody wants to see your nasty draws. You "new nigga chicks" are complicit in this. Why? Because you refuse to tell these fools that shit is wack & keep giving them sex. It's like, if your child does something wrong, you don't reward his bad ass with candy or toys. You punish him. Most of this "new nigga shit" could be avoided, if you women would simply hold these 'tards accountable. It only takes a look & a shake of the head. Throw in a ridiculing giggle & we should be good.

2. Treatment of women. Again, you "women" enable these dummies when you giggle or say "Boy, you're so crazy" after he's called you a "ho" or "bitch". Just because they say it's a joke, doesn't make it so. If I laugh while I shoot somebody in the melon, does that mean I don't have to go to jail? Adjust accordingly.

3. Abuse of technology. Smartphones, mainly iPhones, have a screenshot function. These "new niggas" use this function to expose business that should be private, or to ridicule others that may have had a bad fashion moment in life. If you're a male and have ever done this, not only do you attain the rank of "new nigga", but you also get a "bitch nigga" medal on your uniform. I believe it comes with a pink ribbon.

These are only a few examples. Then, they have the gall to wonder why they can't maintain a healthy relationship. It's simple. "New niggas" & grown people with common sense are simply not compatible. Maybe I'll write the homie, President Obama, and see if we can't get them their own "New Nigga Colony", complete with their own government. Let 'em breed little "new nigglets" and thrive in their own idiotic environment, where they run around, yelling "HAAANNNNNNNN!!!"

My theory on the evolution of the species is as follows. Younger mothers tend to want to be their children's friends, before being a parent. This is a completely ass-backwards approach. These cats are not ready to be men because you arrested their development, by coddling them & giving them too much freedom. You can't let them "be who they are". You have a responsibility to mold & direct them. It's your JOB. Stop being lazy & letting "106 & Park" raise your kids.

Don't get mad at me. I didn't birth these kids...